Perfect.

Goodness it's been a tough week. I've never been so mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted all at once.

I will be the first to admit, I'm a people pleaser. I'm not ashamed of it, but sometimes it can really take its toll on a person. I love to make people feel better and am beyond blessed that my friends trust me enough to come talk to me and listen to my advice.

But I have to realize that I AM NOT PERFECT. No matter how bad I want to be, it's just not going to happen.

Believe me I have my fair share of days

 where I don't have the answers

where I don't have the right advice

 where I feel like I've failed my friends

where I can't seem to do anything right

where I feel like the world is caving in on me

....where I feel like I have no where to turn.

I CAN'T let that define me. I NEED to embrace my flaws. I HAVE to prove to myself that even though I can't obtain perfectionism....

I CAN be the perfect ME.

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel
Like you're less than perfect
Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing
You're perfect to me

--Perfect By P!nk

(Pink, you're preaching to the choir girl.)

DO NOT BE AFRAID TO FAIL.

learn what doesn't work first, then see how you can make it better.

Ypsilanti, Michigan - ADPi District Leadership Conference 2011

Lincoln to Des Moines. Des Moines to Michigan. Doesn't sound too hard does it? 13 hours. On a charter bus with 100 sorority girls? Yeah, that was my weekend.

Friday: 
 5:15am - Wake up (after going to bed at 1:30am)
 5:30am - Load bus
5:45am - Depart Lincoln, head to Des Moines to pick up Drake and Iowa State ADPi chapters.
9:45am - Arrive at Drake. Get situated. Back on the road.

(spend a bajillion hours driving trying to sleep on an uncomfy bus with 100 girls gabbing)

7:45pm - Arrive at mall in Michigan, Eat at a super sketch Chinese place.
*Note to readers, DO NOT eat Chinese at a mall in Michigan, no matter how many free samples they try to stuff down your throat, JUST SAY NO!
8:20pm - Back on the bus
8:45pm - FINALLY REACH HOTEL!!!!!!
9:00pm - Get into hotel room and realize we have ONE bed, for 4 girls. Fail Ypsilanti Marriott, absolute fail. You booked a sorority conference, common sense much?
10:30pm - Meeting with District Leadership Team
11:45pm - Meeting over.
2:00am - SLEEP!!!

Alpha Delta Pi-Alpha Epsilon University of Nebraska-Lincoln

District Leadership Conference 2011 Ypsilanti, Michigan

Saturday:
8:00am - Wake up
8:55am - Be all pretty, preppy, and sorority like in the conference room.
9:00am - Welcome session. Chant, cheer, and be WAY too energetic for 9:00am
12:00pm - Lunch break.
1:00pm - Break out sessions
2:30pm - Next break out session
4:00pm - Final break out session
5:30pm - Dinner break.
Or for me time to go to my hotel room and resume the fetal position because of the bad Chinese I ate yesterday or my body continuing to hate me and making me feel like I'm going to die. Ugh, stupid Michigan.
7:30pm - Evening session
9:00pm - Province break out session
10:00pm - Done for the day!
2:00am - Sleep.

Alpha Epsilon with Ashlyn! Best leadership consultant ever! AE LOVES YOU!!!

Sunday:
8:00am - Wake up
8:55am - More chant, cheers, sorority behavior. :)
9:00am - Welcome session
10:00am - Awards
11:00am - Closing ceremony
11:30am - Back aboard the bus

Spend hours driving through snow, rain, sleet, bumper to bumper traffic, crazy drivers, etc.

12:30am - Back in good ole Lincoln, Nebraska.

Long weekend. But I learned tons and had a beyond wonderful time with my girls. :)

First. Finest. Forever.

We Live For Each Other

Alpha Delta Pi

Happy Valentine's Day!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE! I hope you all have an AMAZING day with the one's you love! <3

This is the day every year where I realize I will ALWAYS be a hopeless romantic. ALWAYS. But hey, there's nothing wrong with a little romance, right? :) I wouldn't mind if anyone did something like this for me. :)

1. Midnight Picnic. Plan a midnight picnic under the stars. Get a picnic basket and fill it with goodies and aphrodisiacs. Bring a tape player and play romantic music while you eat, and save a song or two for dancing.
2. Day Trip. Take a day trip to a small town near you and make plans to hit all the romantic spots in that town. Make sure to bring a camera and take lots of shots of your lover, and have someone take shots of you two together. 

3. Go Sailing. Go to the lake and take a sailing journey for a couple of hours with your lover. There's something romantic about sailing across the water and feeling the breeze blowing through your hair. Pack a picnic lunch and lounge in the sun as you cruise across the water. 

4. Ice Skating. Take your sweetheart to an outdoor ice skating rink or a lake that has been designated as safe for ice skating. This can be extremely fun and romantic, especially if one of you needs help standing on skates!
5. Horseback Riding. Saddle up and take your date on an unforgettable ride on a horse. This can be especially romantic if you take a leisurely ride through the woods.
6. Cook Dinner Together. Plan a special meal that both of you can prepare together. French cuisine might be a good choice! Kitchen romance can be great foreplay to a fantastic evening together. 

7. Day at an Amusement Park. Children have a way of truly having fun. Get in touch with the child within, and grab your partner and spend a day at an amusement park. Go all out and buy cotton candy, ride the wild rides and have a ball! 

8. Have your Picture Taken Together. Find one of those booths in a mall where you can get cozy and close and have some snapshots taken. Get creative with your poses!!
9. Have a Masquerade Party. Invite all your friends to a masquerade party. Plan a theme, maybe even a century (the renaissance period) and have everyone dress up according to that time period. Have various activities and games planned. Make it romantic as well as mysterious.
10. Rain Dance. Next Time it rains, plan to go out in it with your lover just to play barefooted in it! (probably the BEST IDEA yet!!!) 

Here are some ideas if you and your love can't decide what to do on this special day! 

(http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/34175/50_romantic_things_to_do_throughout_pg5.html?cat=41)

SPREAD the LOVE!

"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.” -Morrie Schwartz

Be Blessed.

I was introduced to this song a couple days ago and after hearing it once I fell COMPLETELY in love with the it! I'm a sucker for church songs. ;) I even got to sing it at church this morning!

Knees to the Earth By Watermark

"Be blessed, be loved, be lifted high
Be treasured here, be glorified
I owe my life to You my Lord
Here I am.

 

This is the part that gets me the most...."I owe my life to You my Lord...Here I am."

Such powerful words, yet in our crazy, stressful lives we sometimes forget.

We live for HIM.  

No matter what obstacles are placed in our way, or what moments in our lives we wish we could forget, He is ALWAYS there.

 Encouraging us, empowering us, and loving us unconditionally.

How lucky are we? <3

Speechless.

See the title of this blog? That is the exact state I've been in for the past two days and let me tell you, it's not fun.

And when I say speechless I don't mean the,

Oh my goodness, I'm so head over heels in love with that person

or the

 Oh wow, I can't believe that just happened sort of thing.

I literally CAN NOT talk.

I never realized what a social butterfly I was until I lost the ability to actually talk to people. 

Don't get me wrong, I still have a "voice" but believe me, you do not want to hear it. Think of a combined version of Justin Bieber/Peter Brady/and a hint of Cindy Brady (when my voice gets high pitched it sounds whiney) and BOOM BABY, that's what my voice sounds like. Pretty hot, right? Yeah, I don't think so either.  

I guess what they say is true, "You never know what you've got until it's gone."

Well boy am I learning that lesson the hard way.



Give Credit Where Credit is Due.

So, I have a confession, regarding my last blog.

While it sounds all powerful and strong willed, I have to admit that I did not come to that conclusion on my own. In fact, I was the complete opposite about 4 days ago.

So in regards to that scenario I would like to thank one of my best friends for always believing in me and continuing to tell me how awesome I am. :) (I tend to forget that quite frequently, so it's always nice to be able to count on someone to remind me.)

Thanks Jackiekins for always listening to me whine and moan about all the "stress" in my life. Mucho appreciando. :)

And thanks to everyone else, you know who you are, who have helped me countless times and been my shoulder to cry on through all the trials and tribulations I've encountered. I thank God everyday for blessing me with such amazing people in my life. :)

P.S. You just got mentioned in my blog, which is pretty much the equivalent of winning an Oscar, you're welcome. :D

"Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.” -Author Unknown

What a Life.

Do you ever wonder if you can't do it all?

This has been my life the past few days.

Intern. School. Work. Homework. Sorority. Sleep. (sometimes)

I feel like I'm cutting myself too thin. I'm 19 and I already am partaking in a life that most 30 year olds don't even try to achieve. I get it. I'm in college. And I have a REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, hard time saying no to people, but sometimes I just gotta throw in the towel and quit. (Believe me, easier said then done.)

But in the long run, am I really benefiting myself? All my friends are going to parties and hanging out on Friday nights when I'm working or studying or participating in one of the many other countless things I've commited to. Many say I'm just prepping myself for the future and they are right, if I want to become President I am aware that I'm going to have to work for it, and work hard none the less, but I'm sure Sandra Day O'Connor had a social life before she became a Supreme Court Justice and Sarah Palin was a regular hockey mom before she stepped into the political arena. So why shouldn't I, right?


So maybe I can answer my own question...

It's alright to not be able to do everything.

 It's okay to mess up every now and again.

And it's okay to not be perfect.

2 Corinthians 13:9  For we are glad when we are weak and you are strong. Your restoration is what we pray for.

And so it begins...

 I'm new to this whole blogging world, so we will see how this goes.

There's been a lot going on in my life lately, which has proven me to be the busiest 19 year old on the planet! But I can't really whine too much about it, I can say no to things I just choose not to. I love to be busy, but sometimes I wonder wonder whether this lifestyle is going to help or hinder me in the future.

Currently, I'm an intern for the Department of Justice or more so the Attorney General's Office downtown in the mediation department. (I know, sounds fancy doesn't it?) I'm in my 2nd week of the job and love it! I could do without the waking up at 6:30am every day after going to be at 2:00am, but hey welcome to the life of a college student who is taking 16 credit hours, working 15 hours, interning for 10 hours, sorority, and trying to maintain a somewhat put together social life. I'm sure after reading that you all think I'm crazy....which in some sense, is very true.

The thing that gets me through everyday is just remembering that it's all going to pan out in the end. I can't wait to overcome the odds that everyone has set against me. Let's face it, the goals I have set for myself in some people's eyes are very unrealistic.

                 1. President of the United States
                 2. Supreme Court Justice 
                 3. Prosecuting Attorney 
                 4. Successful Politician 
                 5. State Senator/Mayor

 I can't even count how many times people have told me I'm not going to make it. Little do they know that just motivates me more. I plan to overcome the odds and prove to people that I'm not just some midwestern sorority girl. I want to do big things with my future. and I will. 

(Philippians 4:13)  I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.